Fifty Shades Freed - Book Review

The time has come, my friends.
Time to move on to the third and final book of the trilogy – Fifty Shades Freed.
I know that E. L. James has also released a spin-off story now, which is the events in Christian’s point of view, but I am yet to read this, and I feel like reviewing another one of her books this month would just ruin my Christmas.
I would go into every nook and cranny of the parts I disliked and like, but I fear I would be writing until next year, so instead, I’ll just pick out some main points.
To me, this book was the worst of the three. There was no momentum, the characters that had previously been built up were lost, especially Christian who seemingly turned into a hopeless romantic at the end of the book, and even the attempts of drama and tension seemed futile.
Firstly, let’s start with the writing style and wording, both of which has declined back to the quality of the first books. I’m pretty sure everybody knows that words such as “Flesh”, “carnal” and “impale” are NOT sexy words!
However, the author still opted to use them in her repetitive sex scenes, thus making them more comically repulsive than seductive and sexy. On top of this, there are the usual repeated phrases, such as “holy cow”, “my inner goddess” and “Oh, Ana!”. In fact, I found an approximate word count online for how many times certain phrases are repeated throughout the whole of the trilogy, so that’s fun to feast your eyes on.
As for the actual plot, after a rushed chapter on the wedding, we are taken on Ana and Christian’s Honeymoon, for which, we have to endure reading about 70 pages. Honestly, I wouldn’t have minded this too much, that is, if it wasn’t just a display of them bickering. Christian upsets Ana with another display of his unreasonably overprotective nature, and after three seconds of being upset, Ana forgives him. It reads exactly like the other two books, consisting primarily of drama, sex, cheese and blah.
The rest of the book just seems to focus on their emotional manipulation of one another, which I found ridiculous seeing as they now want a successful marriage. I’m only 19, and have been with my boyfriend for almost two and a half years, and even we know that the element of trust and love overrides sex. I’ve never heard of a marriage or long-term relationship that lasts on sex alone, and this is a factor of the book that annoyed me. I feel like everything about them, from their jobs, to the overly perfect nature and flawless relationship is just awful.
What else did I hate?
Oh yeah, the butt plug scene.
Not because I have a problem with it being in the book or that I thought it was disgusting, just because it seemed as though the author tried to avoid calling Ana’s bum a butt or an arse. Instead, E. L. James tip-toes around it, using words and names that you’d expect from a three year-old, and I just thought that was stupid for a so-called erotic novel.
The ending and ‘plot-twists’ were predictable and expected, from the pregnancy to the run in with Hyde.
I still can’t believe thought that when Ana announced her pregnancy to Christian, he stormed out and she was only angry for about three seconds. If I announced a pregnancy and had the guy walk out on me at that moment, I would make him pay!
But no, he can once again get away with it, because he is him.
Finally, the ending with Hyde (which I don’t want to say much about in case I ruin it for anyone), was just overly far-fetched and even impossible. Not only is the actual scenario not possible in the real world, Ana seems to gain a backbone for a few pages of the book, which she has never exhibited before. She then loses it once more when she sees Christian, and to me, that’s the cherry on the cake for their unhealthy relationship.
Overall, I give it a chunk of eggshell out of 5.

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